Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in robkni's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
10:58 pm	Well, the sickness hit me again last night... hoping it will be gone tomorrow. On the plus side, Jody and I leave for Mexico in the morning and, according to the realtor, we became homeowners at around 4:00 o'clock today. So all in all, a pretty good day. If you're in Seattle, come on by when we get back and I'll make you a cup of cocoa or coffee and we can sit in the dining room and chat. :-) I'll probably be posting sporadically, if at all, while I'm in Mexico, so see you chickens later. Out. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
2:35 pm	I'm going to knock out a quick update because, for one reason or another, I haven't had a chance to post for a while... So: Signed escrow docs last night and hopefully, the house closes tomorrow. Woo-hoo! Headed to Mexico on Thursday morning. Woo-hoo! Camden was a total sweetie this morning. He emptied the dishwasher without being asked and made the girls breakfast. Total. Sweetie. Emilia was super lovey this morning. James was a bit strange when he dropped off the girls this morning. My guess: he ain't feelin' the love... Jared has been excited about building stuff with blocks, playing chess with Camden, and all-in-all, taking the "no screens" grounding in stride. Alice and Charlotte have been giving me some good baby love, which I think is a consequence of being able to spend a bunch of time with each of them. They are awesome and fun little kiddos that are growing like crazy. The family went to the Children's museum at the Seattle Center (as opposed to the one in Factoria) on Sunday. Verdict: pain to get to/park, no place to sit one's butt and watch kids be kids, but overall, much, much better than the one in Factoria. I was sick yesterday but am feeling better today. Out. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
8:34 pm	Woke up pretty early this morning and made breakfast for the bigs kids (who had the day off since it was Veteran's Day) and the babies (who didn't get home until 7:15 when James dropped them off). Jody got to sleep in for once. Put the girls in the tub and they got out after only around fifteen minutes which is unusual but not that unusual. After that was bottles while watching Barney (curse you, you purple bastard); and by that time it was the mommy show because Jody was up. Never-the-less, I got some pretty good baby time and the older kids were in a good mood and were helpful to boot, so all in all, not a bad morning. It was hard leaving Jody because a) she wanted to cuddle, and b) wasn't feeling that well, so I felt bad leaving but that whole work thing calls, so whatareyagonnado? On the way in to work, I stopped by to pick up Amy since she didn't have her car and we rolled in at around 9:40 or so... a bit later than I like but not too bad. The day was only moderately productive so I'm planning on getting in a bit early tomorrow. The girls were happy to see me and were full of smiles, which is always nice; For dinner, I made rosemary chicken with gravy (which was a big hit) and roasted carrots and potatoes. No story again tonight because the older kids were really tired. Things are moving at a pretty good pace with the house -- it looks like Chuck's boss Andrew is going to be our general contractor, and if all is well, (fingers crossed) we'll sign papers and close on Monday, but we'll see. Now, time to meditate, then to bed. For someone so lazy, my days are pretty full. And I need to start making time to run. Out. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
7:51 pm	Better to be lucky than good... Lovely night last night... talking, hanging out and such. Stayed up too late though. We were talking about all kinds of things and I trotted out one of my stock observations -- an interesting one though, the subtext of "Jack and the Beanstalk". My twenty five cent analysis goes like this: When Jack's mom tells Jack to sell the cow it is because she's given up all hope. A cow can produce milk even during a famine because they can eat straw and grass and such -- things humans can't eat. A cow is a symbol of prosperity during hard times. If she stops giving milk or things get so bad she must be sold, it is an acknowledgement that there is no hope for the future and the only thing to do is to, "eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we SHALL die". When Jack trades the cow for magic beans it is because he HAS NOT given up hope, on the contrary, he is the symbol of grasping at the faintest hope instead of giving up. In many versions of the story, Jack is called, "Jack the Giant Slayer", which is a great metaphor for someone who defeats hopelessness. This conversation got me thinking of the wisdom of fairy tales, how important they are to my world view, and that train of thought led me to the idea of luck. Both Michael and I think of ourselves as, "lucky" (though my luck never extends to throwing dice in strategy games, but that's another story... ;-)) Anyway, in some ways it feels like I've led a charmed life. Certainly I've had my share of challenges, but on the balance, the fates have been pretty good to me. An interesting question is, "why"? One answer, that I came up with today, is that there are things we can do to make luck smile on us. And I think one key to this having an affinity for, and even loving, outcomes that have no tangible, personal benefit. There's a story about Thomas Edison, where, after having sunk his entire fortune into a cellulose factory, he comes running home to his wife and excitedly says, "Come quick! You have to see this! It's the most incredible fire you'll ever see in your entire life." I think that an appreciation of the ebb and flow of life and it's wacky twists and turns can allow one to follow a path that leads to all kinds of wonderful things. Maybe it's because it's not crowded there. Maybe it's about just seeing things that people focused on their own interests, miss. In any event,  I feel fortunate. So, Fates... thanks. I know I don't deserve it, but it's pretty nice. And the view is lovely :-) (Comment on this)
Monday, November 9th, 2009
8:32 pm	Oy Hard day. Not a bad day... We had our Scrum training and planning session today and many people were not pleased. It felt like everyone (except, amusingly, my fiancee who has nothing but contempt for Scrum) was filled with all the rage in the world and they wanted to share. With me. Just oy. Anyway, got a flu shot after the meeting with Amy... the woman administering the shots was kind of odd -- kept asking questions like, "why do you want a flu shot? Why do you have so many kids?" I like the crazies, but I was tired and wasn't quite feeling the love. In the car when we got home, Jody made an innocent remark about a work conversation with Chase and I got really upset all of a sudden. Then asked her if she was BFFs with Chase now? Needless to say, she felt bad. I mean, WTF? I don't even know where that came from. Jody has given me no reason to feel even a little insecure. In fact, she's gone farther than is reasonable (and done things like block him from IM that I would NEVER ask her to do) just so I wouldn't feel bad or threatened or jealous. And sure, Chase irritates me and he often gives me reason to be annoyed with him, work-wise and otherwise, but normally I'm pretty good keeping it in perspective. I guess I was just feeling hammered. I hate it when I act badly. Later Jody and I talked -- she was sweet and decent and loving and it helped. A lot. I don't talk/write very much about the intimate details of our relationship, in part because it's so close to me I have no perspective and in part because it's hard to describe. I love having a partner who's commited to communication. Who has emotional intelligence, empathy and objectivity that she applies in how she interacts with me. Who loves who I am and says, with affection and mock annoyance, "That's how men are". It's funny... there are times when she says that I feel more loved than I can remember ever feeling in my life. Funny, huh? But I don't think most of the really good stuff that we share translates very easily. I love reading her school work and talking about it with her. I love it when she tells me about posts on theknot.com. I love talking late into the night about the house, vacations, the girls, the older kids... laying together on our backs or her on my chest, hands entwined, different topics and feelings rolling, rising, and falling like waves on the ocean. Feeling happy, elated, silly, empassioned, strident, parental, protective, restless, hopeful, sleepy... and both in the same boat, rising, falling, and rising again, together. I am so happy to be with my beloved. I am so happy that she needs me, appreciates me, loves me, wants me, and feels grateful to be with me. Because that's how I feel about her. (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 8th, 2009
8:13 pm	Today felt busy but in hindsight, I guess it wasn't really... Jody and I went to steak night last night and I got to meet a bunch of her friends (and Michelle whom I'd met in Las Vegas when we went in the end of September). They were really nice and a bit crazy. It was all women except for me but that was fine. It went pretty late and we didn't get home until after 11:00 -- and that was without going to see a movie. The bigger kids didn't get dropped off back home until just a little while ago, but James dropped off Alice and Charlotte at around 7:00 this morning. They were big sweeties all day, but really tired... they were so exhausted this morning they tried climbing into their beds at 9:45 so we put them down and didn't get them up until after 2:00 (though they didn't sleep the whole time... they were partying down for a while before we got them up). I did a short run this afternoon, then we stopped by the old house to drop off some money for the yardwork Amy and Jeff did, then went to the Children's Museum with the girls. Headed home and got dinner ready, then I went out to pick up Chinese while Jody put the girls down for the night. Now time to read to the kids (though Camden is still in the bath...), then meditate, then bed. Tomorrow is the first day of Scrum training plus Sprint 1 planning for the team. Out. (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 7th, 2009
10:43 am	I'm starving. No breakfast yet because I'm waiting to go have brunch/breakfast with the woman. Jody's dad is supposed to pick up the big kids to take back to Tacoma but isn't here yet; James has already gotten Charlotte and Alice. Jody is finishing up her shower while talking to Emilia in the bathroom and I'm lying in bed (dressed and mostly ready) so I figured I'd knock this out real quick. Jody's friend Jennie came up from Tacoma with her son to pick up some baby clothes (she's due in Feburary) and it was baby chaos (a fun version) last night. Patrick (Jenny's son) was running around like a 2 1/2 year old boy (because, well, he is one...), Alice and Charlotte were having fun wandering around piles of baby clothes, Ana left at around 6:00 and seemed pretty happy to get out of here. Heh. We had left-overs for dinner and watched a couple of Simpsons episodes, then I read to the kids, meditated, and went to bed. Jody and I went to sleep relatively early and I got to sleep in this morning, so other than being STARVING, I'm pretty happy. After brunch, Jody is going to work on a paper for school, then we're going to hang out for a bit, maybe catch a moving or something, then Jody's going to steak night with some of her friends and we get to finish off our evening together. Sounds like a pretty good day, all in all. :-) (Comment on this)
Friday, November 6th, 2009
10:14 am	Last night was fantastic. Life gets in the way of the important stuff too often, but last night was lots of one on one time with the fiancee... talking, being silly, cuddling and such. Really good stuff. We were up until almost 2:00 but I must have done something right because Jody let me sleep in this morning. :-) At least until Jared rolled in with a big pile of laundry that got dumped on the dresser. And then Emilia came in and says, "I love you, Robert. Watcha' doin'?" Well, clearly not sleeping. :-) Dinner was veggie/potatoe enchiladas which were really tasty but ruined the children because the sauce was medium instead of mild. Reading "The Silver Chair" was happy because they were laughing hysterically during the parts I was hamming up, especially Glimfeather (Tu-whoo! Tu-whoo!, Too true, too true!) and Trumpkin the dwarf ("Eh? What's that? He's useless? What???!!! Why are you whispering and muttering???!!!") The appraisal on the house came back at $360,000 but there was only one comp that was truly comparable. Heh. It's a good sign when the appraiser has a hard time finding comps low enough for your house. ;-) It would have been nice if I could have gotten the new home buyer's credit -- $6500.00 would have really helped on building the new bathroom, and Simon (the mortgage guy) said we could wait and re-lock at current rates, which are still the same, but I don't want to be greedy. I think it makes sense to just get this thing done. So that's what we're going to do. Well, back to work. Life is good. And I'm happy. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 5th, 2009
7:39 am	Ran around 3.5 last night, the same this morning. Yesterday evening, Jody made dinner -- a tomatoey, cheeseburger macaroni casserole (veggie version for me) that was mighty tasty and liked by all. I was pretty productive at work yesterday, which is a good thing. Before running this morning, I got the girls some breakfast together and Jody was up with them watching Dorothy the Dinosaur when I got back from my run. That's about it. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
10:51 am	Last night Jody made pot roast and some truly cosmic oatmeal raisin cookies. I had veggie bratwurst with grilled onions, potatoes and bread. The ungrateful children complained about the pot roast being "too meaty" as they tucked away couple of pounds each. For the love of God, children. We read most of the second chapter of "The Silver Chair" until Jared fell asleep, then I went upstairs, lazed around, stopped by the old house to pick up mail, a rent check, say hi to Jonah (and Frodo) at their graves, came home, meditated and went to bed. This morning I woke up pretty early but half-dozed until I had frittered away a bunch of precious potentially productive time, made a bit of breakfast for the girls when James brought them home, got ready for work and left early because Jody stayed home from school today. Hit things pretty solidly at work and got a good bit accomplished in a relatively short period of time. I'm going to lunch with Rob at around 11:45 this morning and we're going to go over his cover letter -- he's applying for a senior SDET position at xxx team! How cool is that? Just censored myself because this is an open blog and I think the team might be secret, so no corporate leaks from me. Well, back to work. I'm starting to really get excited about going to Mexico in two weeks! And things are getting really close on the house closing too. Life is good and I miss my dog. Back to work. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
11:04 am	I got to sleep in this morning since Jody got up with the girls. I took full advantage of my free time by laying in bed playing Solitaire on my phone thinking, "I should really be doing something either more productive or more fun." Finally I got up to take a shower, and since I was feeling silly, I decided to go terrorize Jody with sexual innuendo and bad humor, which is always fun. After receiving my requisite five, "Good Lord man! Don't you have anything to do???", I got ready and did marginally useful stuff. After a fun-filled, "mama"-themed episode of Incredible Melting Babies (tm), Jody and I headed off to work. Jody sadly proclaimed that she really, really, really wanted to have Starbucks cocoa in a red cup but, ("sigh") it was too late ("sigh") because we had to get to work ("sigh"), so... being the incredibly intuitive, sensitive guy that I am, I made a surprise stop by Starbucks to get said cocoa (peppermint flavored). Backing up a bit, we had a great Hallowe'en which I didn't write about, since I left my laptop at work this weekend, which was annoying. And now it's too far in the past to get into, but here's my favorite highlight:     (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
7:36 pm	Good day, hard day... I woke up this morning at 6:30 to Alice yelling, "Daaadeee! Daaadeee!" It's bittersweet because I love all of those kids. And my heart feels what my heart feels. However, the challenge here can be summed up simply: "It ain't about me." It makes me really happy for selfish reasons, and so I need to guard against what I want and consider first what leads to maximum goodness. For now, I think I'll err on the side of enjoying, but not pushing. Apparently, Charlotte was up off and on pretty late, so I let her sleep and made pancakes for everyone. After/during that, I did a bunch of dishes because the dishwasher was broken (actually, it's just on the GFCI circuit which was thrown... I checked the breaker but didn't check the GFCI on the outlet since it never occurred to me that would be the problem). When Charlotte got up, I fed her breakfast, let the girls watch Caillou, said good bye to Camden and Emilia, got them in a bath, then went out to get Jody's Amerge, since she was out. It was supposed to be a ten minute trip but it turned into and hour and fifteen minute ordeal, since not only did the pharmacist not call the refill into the doctor like he was supposed to, but they were out (but had to check their shipment, which took another 15 minutes) and ended up calling five pharmacies in the area before finding one that had Amerge. That was really nice of them, but I was pretty cranky. Even then, I had to wait almost 20 minutes for the prescription to be filled and it was 15 minutes away, so I didn't get into work until a lot later than I had planned, which was frustrating since I've been trying really hard to get to work at a reasonable time and stay focused on work during work time. I know that Jody would have been fine just waiting and getting it later, but that's part of the problem... she's spent her whole life soldiering on dealing with migraines and aches and auto-immune stuff that if I don't push a little bit, she lets it go. And I don't want her too, because, well I love her and want her to be well, even though I know that all the doctor's appointments and drugs aren't making her well. It's frustrating for me and so I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for her. Anyway, once in to work, I was really productive, got done what I needed to, picked up a couple of tasks from a coworker, went to a team lunch, hammered away for a while at a new priority 0 task and headed home at around 5:30. As part of aforementioned priority 0 task, I instant messaged Chase off and on about it and ended up making suggestions about what we should do (which I was doing anyway) since he was mostly worthless on guidance. Look, I know I have no patience with him and think he's the world's biggest fucktard (with good reason in my opinion), but for the love of God, it's irritating working with him. It was hard enough when we were nominally friends because he was so genially incompetent, now it drives me to distraction. Sigh. Tonight was pizza, then pumpkin carving which the kids are finishing up as I write this. Jody is making cupcakes for her law school class tomorrow night. After story, it'll be meditation and bed. I know my whining makes my day sound bad but it wasn't actually. I had a few frustrations but I felt up to the task and mostly acted well, and besides, I'm feeling really happy these days. I love my fiancee and my kids. I get to do interesting work. I have lots of good things in my life now and coming up. I'm blessed and I know it. I look forward to working hard to be worthy of all the good in my life. Out. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
10:58 am	Agile... like a rhino. My team is going to be implementing a project management technique called Scrum, and since I love me some Scrum and am a big cheerleader, I'm part of the process. So far, people are dubious, but it looks like things are coming together. The new house is in a bit of a holding pattern right now -- the appraisal should be coming back towards the end of this week, Jody is going to schedule some contractors to place bids on the bathroom/bedroom(s) & laundry room framing. I have a couple more piece of paperwork to give to Simon at First Tech, but otherwise, things appear to be moving at a good pace. Last night was nice with some frustration... the girls have been on the edge of sick but doing pretty well. The older kids, particularly Camden and Jared had a few challenges last night... and Emilia really needs some serious 1:1 time with math homework. Oy.  With five kids, it's really easy to start yelling at people and ordering them around and just never stop, but it turns out that that approach starts to affect family harmony more quickly than you might think. Heh. In any event, the night ended with reading the beginning of "Smith of Wooten Major", which the kids seem more into than "Farmer Giles of Ham" (we're taking a break from Narnia books between "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" and "The Silver Chair") and the level of frustration and unhappiness just seemed to melt away. It was really nice. Poor Jody is struggling with ongoing medical issues, a fact which will probably not change in the short term, but the frustration with patchy, incompetent, and fragmented medical treatment (she's got a million doctors), on top of multiple issues that resist easy diagnoses is like a life tax. Grrr... Well, time to get back to work. The word of the day is 'tortoise' -- slow and steady wins the race. Clop. Clop. Clop. Out. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 26th, 2009
7:56 am	Lazy... It's almost 8:00 and I'm still in bed. Jody is supposed to be leaving for school in a couple of minutes and she's already gotten up, made pancakes for breakfast, showered and gotten ready. The girls stayed at James' last night and he texted this morning at 7:30 saying they just woke up. Yesterday, Jody, the older kids and I went to see the Fremont troll then to an IMAX and then we came home and Jody made dinner. For someone who doesn't cook, not only has she been cooking a lot, but her food is delicious! I am marrying the perfect woman. I suppose I should get out of bed, but I love laying here, drowsy, and hearing happy, homey, sounds; Emilia is talking about what she's going to wear for school, I can't quite hear what Camden is saying. I thought I heard Jared too, but his bus left a half hour ago, so either he's not here or he missed his bus. Ahhh... Jody just asked Camden what Jared wants to be for Hallowe'en so, he must have caught his bus. Well, time to get up and join the fray. (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 25th, 2009
2:25 pm	Quiet day today. James came and got the girls at around 7:30. I had woken up at around 6:00 and decided to go down to Starbucks until the girls woke up, but by the time I'd put breakfast together for them, they were awake, so I just hung out with everyone until James took the girls. Jody had another hard night so she went back to sleep at around 9:00. After taking a shower, I went to Starbucks after all, dropped off another piece of paperwork for the house in the mail (this one was for the escrow company), went home, and made lunch for the kids. I also made some pasta with pesto and cheese for Jody and a Greek salad, but let her keep sleeping. Emilia has been bored off and on today (the boys have been playing Halo online) and at lunch, she decided it would be 'fun' to smear her hands with the extra peanut butter from her peanut butter and banana. For the love of God. This child is nine, mind you, not two. Sigh... Got her cleaned up, harassed the children into doing chores a bit, then meditated. Jody is still sleeping. I've been checking on her periodically, and she clearly needs the sleep, so I'm letting her sleep until she wakes up on her own. In a few minutes I'm going to go get some string so Emilia can string up the paper pumpkins she made at the Children's Museum. We were supposed to go to the Chris'es to carve pumpkins from 1:00 to 4:00, but it looks like that might not happen. Maybe I'll take the brood to go see the Fremont troll and then to a movie. (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 24th, 2009
8:21 am	I had a dream last night that I parked in front of a house, went to school or somewhere, and then came back to discover my car on blocks with all the tires missing. It got complicated from there, but eventually the people who lived there let me in to their house, turned out to be Gypsies of some kind, took pity on me, gave some money, most of which was this crazy scrip that could be redeemed for gold... well, anyway. The upshot of the dream was that there were all kinds of convoluted relationships and rules of social obligation that one needed to navigate, (all of which were unstated and mysterious), in order to get my tires back (which I ultimately did -- the people who lived in the house were the ones who took my tires), but the more I discovered (mostly unwittingly and accidentally), the more dangerous things became and the greater my obligation to these people that I had just met. The dream was both interesting and disconcerting. I slept late this morning; soon the clan is heading off to the Arboretum for holiday pictures, then Jody and I are going downtown for engagement pictures. I haven't waded into the fray yet this morning, so time to get dressed, shave, and then see who's hungry and what needs to get done to get us together by 10:00. (Comment on this)
Friday, October 23rd, 2009
8:38 am	The bigger kids are in school and Alice and Charlotte are in the bath. I'm sitting on the toilet posting while listening to The Wiggles on the bathroom iPod and I can hear "Follow That Bird" still playing in the other room where I forgot to turn it off. Now, the Wiggles song, "Everybody Clap" just came on. It's Charlotte's favorite. She gives this little smile when it comes on and acts it on on the verses: Everybody Sing Everybody Clap Bow to your partner Hands in the Air Rockabye your Bear Since it's Friday, Jody and I will be going into work together as soon as Ana gets here. I have deadline today that I'm on top of, which is nice. Also, I have almost all the paperwork in that I need for the house, which is nice too. I just need to drop off a copy of the lease for the old house, statements showing credit cards are now at zero, and a statement why I refi'ed 6 months ago and am buying a house now (that would then be because the old house is two bedrooms and I'm marrying someone with five kids. Heh.) Hopefully, Jody's dad will watch the kids tonight and we'll get a date night. Otherwise it will be movie night and frozen pizza with the kids. Tomorrow is family pictures, then on Sunday, we're going to the new Realtor's Hallowe'en party in Enumclaw, because, why not? (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
7:55 am	Charlotte just ate half my eggs after eating enough pancakes, pear and veggie sausage to make a lumberjack groan. Now she's trying to type on my laptop. That's her mamma's daughter. Alice and Camden are watching Barney, Jared is in school, and Emilia is giving me a hug. Jody is trying to steal a little extra sleep. One is rarely lonely in this house. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
11:29 am	Start Again... I haven't been running, which is naughty. I've made the decision to not run the Seattle marathon, which makes me sad, and mad at myself. Here's why I'm not running it: I've finished 3 marathons. Good for me. At this point, I want focus on my level of fitness and have the races follow from that. Running it without having trained sufficiently is just childish at this point. I am cross with myself and it's time to get back on that pony, and start again. Time to eat well, exercise, find balance in all things and move forward. In the Vipassana audio tapes that are played at the 10 day retreats, Goenka would say a few words before each meditation session. After talking about the triple gem, or some other aspect of Buddhism, he would always say, "Start again, start again." Every time you sit down to meditate or do anything, for that matter, you get to begin anew. To start again, hopefully with focus, strong determination, inner calm, and a sense of joy. So. Time to take a deep breath, smile, and start again. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
6:12 pm	In the thick of it... Back to work and finishing up a milestone, which is always nice. One good thing about my job is that we have regular ship cycles which gives you a chance to hit the reset button and start fresh. And, to those who don't follow Jody on Facebook, we are buying a house! It's an old Craftsman style house in Mount Baker that needs work but fits all of us and is in a fantastic location. 1 block from the Mount Baker light rail stop, a quiet and beautiful street, close to Camden and Emilia's school, a great park, a Microsoft Connector stop, near the water. It's perfect for us. And I love, love, love doing this with Jody. We get excited by a lot of the same stuff, she's a spreadsheet Godess and the idea of getting a house together makes us both really happy. I love having someone who is all about the domestic thang as much as I am. Well, Jared needs help with homework and I need to throw dinner together before Jody heads off to school. Then dinner, then story for the kids, then meditate and to bed, first to talk about fun house and travel plans then, well, whatever. Out. (Comment on this)